The Subliminal Messages in Windows 95

One of the side-effects of performing seemingly endless tests of beta versions of Windows 95 is that you get to spend a lot of time staring at its startup screen. During one particularly long late-night session, my mind wandered and I began to see pictures in the clouds. After the installation was complete, I noticed that, on the Windows 95 CD, there was a directory called FunStuff that contained a version of the title screen (Win95.BMP) that was slightly different than the Win95 startup screen. By comparing these two versions, I began to see differences in the two that clearly showed that the startup logo screen had, in fact, been heavily retouched. After careful examination of these two screens, I am now convinced that the Windows 95 logo screen contains at least four subliminal images.

The Dark Horse

The one that most people can see right off the bat is the silhouette of a dark horse rearing up on the left side of the Windows 95 logo. If you have the Plus pack CD-ROM, you'll find this image on that disc as a file called LOGO.SYS (which, despite its name, is simply a bitmapped image that can be loaded and viewed in Paint. Set the horizontal scale to 170% for a proper aspect ratio.); otherwise, simply restart Windows 95 to view the title screen.

As further evidence of the horse's existence, a completely different image of a galloping horse appears in approximately the same position on the Win95.bmp image (its tail and rear leg are at the left edge of the screen; its head is inside the blue rectangle). Coincidence? I think not. The meaning(s) of this image are open to interpretation, but the powerful image of a stallion, the phrase "dark horse" and other studly associations are all well-known symbols.

Freedom

While you're looking at the Win95.bmp image, it's worth noting that there appears to be a large, dark bird with outstretched wings above and to the right of the logo. Flying and freedom, we presume, are the messages here. Or is that a vulture?

The Rock Hero

On the right side of the logo, there is an image that, in one concise image, manages to conjure up suggestions of the passion and excitement of rock music, death and drugs -- all powerful and typical subliminal images. If you imagine that the upper-right corner of the Windows logo points to the back of a guitarist's neck, you can see that the guitarist has curly hair, a mustache, a clearly visible frilly collar, and is playing with his head back and his elbow at approximately the area where the green and the yellow rectangles meet. With a little more effort, it's not hard to imagine that this afro-haired, mustachioed guitar hero could be none other than Seattle-area rock legend, Jimi Hendrix. The fact that he's a local (dead) hero only adds to the plausibility of the rock-hero-tribute theory. Or could "rocking" and "horse" be related?

Subliminal Sex

Not convinced about that one, eh? Well, if you're not so sure that the Microsoft folks would put a tribute to a local success story in their code, may we direct your attention to the image of a well-known logo on the coffee cup in the animated icon file "SBUX.ANI").

The largest hidden image is the most obvious and potent symbol of the bunch. Like all good subliminal messages (especially those that have already been shown to contain references to power, drugs and rock and roll), this one is about SEX. Look above the Win95 logo and imagine that the blue area behind it is the left profile of a man's head. Above the upper-left corner of the logo is the man's cheek and eye, defined by a dark area about an inch above the upper-left corner of the logo. Just to the right of the white bump in the clouds would, of course, be the point where the forehead and nose meet. His forehead and hair are defined by the white clouds at the very top of the screen. At the top-center of the screen is his sideburn, and to the right of that, his ear. His chin, therefore, would be at about the point on-screen between the large red rectangle and the two smaller ones.

Naturally, this male figure is poised in a classic missionary position over the figure of a female figure, her head back (her neck extends from the bottom-left of the logo through the letter "s" of "Microsoft"). She appears to be laying on a pillow, her "Princess Leia" hair defined by the white area at the center of the left edge of the screen. The bridge of her nose, therefore, is seen from above and to the right of her head; the bottom of her chin is approximately where the black dots between the blue and the red areas of the logo are. That would make the large bump on the right side of the logo her...well, you figure it out. The wallpaper file, CLOUDS.BMP has an even more obvious female image with the light area just above the center of the screen showing a blonde woman with puckered lips pressed directly up against those of a -- omigod! -- a black man! Hmmm. Do you detect a striking resemblance to...? Naw, it couldn't be. Could it?

There's another obvious face in CLOUDS.BMP, too. Look just to the right of center-screen and you'll see a man's face, with the eyes and nose in heavy shadow. If you can't see it, try reducing the brightness and/or upping the contrast of your screen.

Is this just a wacky theory, or are we onto something here? Are there more subliminals? Have we missed anything? What happens if you display the files backwards? Is Elvis alive? Is Bill dead?

Bob Loblaw was going to provide us with an author's bio, but he suddenly had to leave. He said something about needing to buy nine more copies of Microsoft Windows.

For further information

• More Subliminals in Windows 95?
• Subliminal Messages on TV?
• Subliminal Feedback!
• Sgt. Pepper subliminals!

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